I remember when I was in year 6, we had to make an excuse jar, full of excuses for different things. I colour coded mine (because that's how I roll) into homework, going to school, practicing music, and going to swimming training. I had excuses for everything. I can't help but think that one piece of homework all those years ago has held me back somehow.
I'm like the Hannibal Smith of excuses. Give me a minute I'm good, give me an hour, I'm great, give me all day, I'm infallible. I can pull a believable excuse out of my ass in a matter of seconds. When I was a kid it was just nature, kids don't want to play violin, or eat pumpkin and mashed potato, but now, it's like a disease.
The only person excuses hold back is you, so I'm going to look into the kinds of excuses people make for various things, and what you can do about it when you feel an excuse attack coming on.
Part I: Excuses for not going somewhere
Sometimes you just don't feel like leaving the house. It could be for a legitimate reason, such as being sick or injured, or being concerned about leaving someone who isn't doing so crash hot themselves. Sometimes you literally can't leave the house, like you're waiting for a delivery or a guest, you don't have the means to get to where you need to go, or you have nobody to look after the kids but you also can't bring them with you. Then there are the times you just wont leave the house. That is what we are going to discuss now.
Excuse number one: "I'm too tired"
Now don't get me wrong, at the end of a long day, going for a night out with that crazy friend who always manages to go on Harold and Kumar style misadventures seems daunting, and maybe you are too tired to last the whole night. Here is the thing though: You don't have to. You are an adult. You can stop drinking when you want, and you can leave when you want. You can stand up to your crazy friend. Chances are they're not going to remember it anyway. Chances also are that you had plenty of notice, and you can probably squeeze in a quick Nanna nap or a coffee in there somewhere to perk you up.
Sometimes you might just feel like you're too tired and a night out on the town, or lunch with friends is exactly the pick me up you need. Do you really want to miss out on that? Once again it comes down to being an adult, and knowing you can leave when you like.
Excuse number two: "I'm too busy" / "I have too much to do around the house"
Sometimes this might be true, I know my Mum is one of these busy people, but are you really that busy? Are you so busy you can't take 30min to have coffee with a friend, or go to the gym, or go for a walk/run? This comes down to being organised. Get a date book, use the calendar on your phone, make yourself a timetable like you had in high school, and allocate time for anything that might pop up. Working out, last minute catch ups, this time could even come in handy for emergencies with the kids. The fact of the matter is that whatever you have to do at home will be there after the gym is closed, after the cafe is closed, and after the sun is down. The dishes will still be there, along with the dirty floor, or the cat's litter box. Seize the day and live a little.
Excuse number three: "I can't go, I have nothing to wear."
This is what I honestly believe all these excuses really mean sometimes. We've all had the feeling. You've tried everything on in your wardrobe and nothing fits, nothing is flattering, nothing looks good and you just want to curl up in a ball and cry. Unlike the first two excuses, this one might not be so easy to solve, and it hurts because it speaks a greater truth about you. When you go to the wardrobe and get this feeling, it can make you feel not worthy of going out for a night on the town, or make you scared even to go to places like the gym or pool for fear of looking inferior to the other, fitter people there. It reminds you of your dissatisfaction with yourself.
Well you know what? You aren't going to improve by avoiding the gym because you're afraid your outfit makes you look fat. In fact, it's a good reason to get out and go shopping! Go and find 3 outfits that make you feel a billion dollars. A casual one, something for working out, and something for going out on the town. Something that as soon as you put it on you feel like Elle McPherson. Then, on those days you feel like you just don't have anything to wear, you don't have the excuse because in that wardrobe there is a failsafe outfit that will make you feel good, and give you the confidence to get out there.
Next time you find yourself making an excuse, open you wallet and put some coin in an excuses jar. If you find you're poorer by the end of the week, then you'll know where you need to improve!
xx
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